Dear Diary
by Oliver Fiction
Summary: Welcome to a world without Voldemort, without any real difficulty, without purpose. This is now the life of the Boy Who Lived.
1. Entry1

I'd like to thank my dad and JKR for making this fic possible.

Disclaimer: I solemnley swear that I'm doing no wrong.

I worte this fic just a few days, and if you don't think it's very well edited, I agree with you.

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It just seems wrong that I should be in a place where I can't do anything useful. I can hear the muggles ridding around in their cars, and sometimes I can hear the sirens of an emergency vehicle rushing across town where other people could be in danger; but I can't do anything myself. Even if I could save the lives of other people by going outside, I would still be kept here under lock and key, where my only consolation is I'm in here because Lord Voldemort is dead and because I can't really fight like I used to anymore.

Sure, it's worth having Voldemort dead even if it means living in a two room flat for a couple of years because death eaters are trying to kill you, but after having my friends support me so strongly and after having someone actually sacrifice his life for me, I feel lonely, and I miss my friends a lot. And Tonk's personality can get a little annoying...

But I guess the person I miss most is Luna. I spend more time thinking of her than thinking of my best friends.

Luna and I -- we became good friends over the summer after my fifth year. She supported the DA, and when she could she helped me with spell practice and the like. And she can be one of the funnest people to be around, and even after I had detention with Snape, Luna would always be able to cheer me up.

When we went to Hogsmede in October, we bought a bunch of pranks at Zonkos and played them on every fifth-year Slytherin at Hogwarts. We ended up with a detention, but that didn't stop us from going to parties in the Room of Requirement and going flying after-hours when we were actually free from homework.

The last year I went to Hogwarts, I saw some old friends from Beaxbatons and Durmstrang, and Grawp trampled over Hargrid's newest pet, Xerxes the Pegasus (though he survived and is still scaring the third years taking Care of Magical Creatures). But I guess what I remember most is my friend's reactions when they heard the prophecy. Ron didn't speak for an hour; Hermione asked why I hadn't told them sooner. When I couldn't think of a good reason, she got emotional and left, and it was a couple days before she started talking to me again.

Luna's reaction to it was strangely mature. She didn't get angry at me or gape at me for an hour. She approached me, hugged me, and said she would make sure I would always be able to fight Voldemort, no matter what. After that, she was always right there, next to me, ready to help with whatever came my way, and as time went by, we got a lot closer as friends.

Ron and Hermione noticed how much time Luna and I were spending together and mentioned it one night after we came back from a DA meeting. They said that I shouldn't get too close to too many people because I could die at any time, and when I told them that she knew and that she could decide for herself, Hermione got angry again and left, Ron following right behind her. It took another day-and-a-half for us to make up, and I made sure they didn't see me around Luna too much after that.

One day, I was just looking for a book in the library, and Luna came up to me. Tears were in her eyes. She put her head on my shoulder and told me that her dad was dead, sobbing through half of it. I never met him.

For the next few days, we were always together because she refused to let me out of her sight for very long. She wanted to make sure that she spent as much time with me as she could because of the prophecy. The day after she decided to be alone for a while, Dumbledore met me in a hallway and told me we had to attack Voldemort soon because he was vulnerable, and also that, when I was ready to go, I should come to his office. So, I thought about writing a will, but then I realised that if I was killed by Voldemort everything would fall under his control. That's when I decided to say goodbye to everyone.

Ron and Hermione knew that I was going already, and I only said goodbye to them right before I left. But it was a lot harder to say goodbye to Luna. I found her outside in the same place I had been in my fifth year after Sirius had died. She didn't notice me when I walked up to her. I sat down beside her and she finally looked at me. Her eyes weren't too teary, but she looked very depressed.

"You found me..." is all she said.

I tried to tell her for an hour, but the words wouldn't come out. Just when I mustered enough courage to tell her, she broke the silence and started talking about the different things she used to do with her dad. Hearing her talk about what she did with her parents, a luxury I never had -- I really can't describe what I felt, but I can say I knew I couldn't let her go through another loss.

So after she finished, I stood up and said, "Goodbye, Luna." I knew I was coming back. She didn't look at me as I walked away, but I'm almost sure she knew where I was going.

Yes, after going all the way to Dumbledore's office, I did travel to the Riddle House, and I did defeat Voldemort at the cost of Dumbledore's life (the funeral was a sad one). But I didn't go back to Hogwarts or my friends. I'm sure Ron or Hermione's told Luna that I'm alive by now, but since I have to be here for the next few years, I feel like I was lying to her.

Yeah I would love to get out of here for a few days, but I guess all I really want is to say thanks to my best friends, the Order, and especially to Luna.


	2. Entry2

I really can't sleep. I'm worried about my friends. Are they going to become the next-best thing if the Death Eaters can't kill me? What if they find out how important Luna was in Voldemort's downfall? How do I know if there's enough protection around them?

Dumbledore's dead, and I've been going downhill as a wizard ever since Voldemort died. What if the protective wards at Hogwarts and Grimmauld Place can't stop the rest of the Death Eaters? They'll die. And if they die, I die. I'm already half-dead in this boring flat even if I do get visits from Lupin and a Chocolate frog every once in a while...

I guess, the only thing I can do to help them is to start practicing spells again, starting from the basics. I mean, maybe I wasn't completely dependant on Voldemort for my magical ability, and maybe I have enough talent from my parents to fight them again...

The reason I'm worried is I got an owl about them today -- hand-delivered from good old Professor Lupin. He's looks so old now that he looks like -- well, I guess you could say he looks like the picture of Nicholas Flamel on his last Chocolate frog card.

Anyway, the owl was from McGonagall, and it told me about an attack on the Hogwarts Express (not the kind of news you often get on Sky Network). No one was killed, but plenty of students were injured by practically every jinx, curse, and unforgivable discovered. (It's a good thing most remaining Death Eaters have horrible aim these days, or someone would have been killed.) Hermione, Luna, Ron, and the rest of the DA were able to hit some of the Death Eaters and delay them until the Aurors arrived (nevermind why they weren't there in the first place).

Maybe they'll be more protected from now on, but I'm not going to take any chances. I start spell practice again tomorrow.


	3. Entry3

Well, the time's finally come for me to leave the hell of my flat. I can't believe I spent almost a year-and-a-half there, and I don't know how I could have spent another one like that. I'm really glad that all of the more powerful Death Eaters are in Azkaban, since it means I can finally go home... But I don't know where I'm going to live yet. I'm not going to live in Grimmauld Place, but I suppose I could stay in the Burrow for a week or two while looking for somewhere else to live.

There were times when I thought I wouldn't make it ... times when I thought I wouldn't even graduate... That's why everyone has some idea of where they're going to go and what they're going to do, and I don't. Maybe the only important things I have to do are already done. Maybe I've fufilled my purpose in life...

Even if I have, I guess I should at least try to be more like a normal human being and maybe get a job to rebuild my family's fortune... I could buy a new house with the money. I wonder what my investment in Weasley Wizard Weezes would be worth now... But I guess I will need a job even if I get ten thousand galleons back from Fred and George...

What could I be? I can't be an auror, and I don't want to be too famous anymore which marks off quidditch captain for England... Well, now that I'm in the car that's leaving purgatory flat forever, I should write some owls for advice.

There's no shame in writing an autobiography to tell everyone what has happened over the years either. I really don't think I'm going to do anything too important from now on ... just the right time to write it, too, since my memory's fresh.

But even if I get a lot of money back from Fred and George and my autobiography earns me another ten thousand galleons, I guess I'll still need a job by --

The strangest thing just happened. An owl started pecking on the window, and I let it in. It gave me an owl from Luna. It's inviting me to her house for a week ... maybe she doesn't want to be alone anymore -- I have to go there... I won't dissapoint her again.


	4. Entry4

Meeting Luna again was nice. She's an auror now, and she actually helped capture Dolohov and Lestrange. Usually there would have been auror training, but since she was already so good at fending off death eaters, she set new records on the entrance exams, and she was anxious to get revenge for her dad's death, she was let in almost immediately. I actually owe my early freedom to her.

Even though this isn't my place, I've been helping out around the house after spell practice. There's just so much to do here compared to my flat that I'm just glad I can actually do it -- including some of the cooking.

But besides that, I guess I just wait for her to come back from work. And when she is here, we just talk. Christmas is coming and she asked me to stay until it's over, and even though I'd like to stay with some of my other friends for a while, I decided to tay.

I think I said yes because ... well ... I think I'm in love with her. It developed very subtly but it's very strong. The problem is I don't know if she loves me or not. I'm going to have to try something to get her attention. We decided to go out tomorrow to have some fun, and I think I'll be able to tell if she does have feelings for me by looking at how she talks with everyone else compared to how she talks to me.

Anyway, the house hunt is going badly. I could live in London as long as I don't have to live in a flat. I was thinking about living in America for a few months, just to see how it is over there, but there aren't that many wizards over there, and I wouldn't enjoy being around muggles all day. Well, wherever I live, I'm going to the Burrow today -- it's only a short broom ride to it, and I really want to see my friends again. I'm going to leave a note for Luna just in case she gets home early.


	5. Entry5

Wow!-- Yesterday was -- I'm going to make sure we go out to someplace fancy tonight -- Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.

I went all the way to the Burrow and spent two hours with Ron -- coincidentally, Hermione arrived an hour after I did. It was nice seeing them again, and they had a lot to tell me. Somehow Hermione had become the assistant head of the Department for Muggle Artifacts at the ministry, and Ron had ... well ... become the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor after being appointed to the position by Minister for Magic Bones (Aunt of Susan Bones).

Susan had seen Ron perform well in the DA and recommended him to her aunt. I don't exactly think Percy or Professor Mcgonagall are very happy about the decision, but he seems to be doing well. Three things that've really helped him are the fact that he's had the class from so many different perspectives, the fact that he's fought Death Eaters one-on-one. and the fact that it's not a difficult class to teach to anyone but Crabbes or Goyles, who are still students.

I saw Ginny too, and I'm really glad she got over that infantile crush she had years ago. Percy is still a git, Fred and George are still the richest twins in the wizarding world, and Mr. Weasley retired and is now living off of Fred and George's earnings. It's an unusual family to say the least, but it's not a poor one anymore.

Well, now for the real news. While I was flying to Luna's, I saw her flying nearby and I caught up with her. We flew side-by-side for a while, and after a few minutes I suggested that we fly like we used to. She agreed, and we landed so that she could switch brooms since mine was a Firebolt.

After she got on, I kicked off, and we flew together in circles until Luna asked me to stop for a second. She said she didn't feel safe and asked me to put my arms around her waist. When I did she turned her head and said that she'd really missed me. I told her I'd never go that long without seeing her again, but she just laughed lightly and said that was the second promise I'd given her that I wouldn't be able to keep.

Then after a pause, I told her I loved her too much to be without her.

And so last night we did things neither of us had ever done before. And under the stars last night she told me she'd never loved anyone as much as she loved me.


	6. Entry6

If someone had told me that Luna and I would be engaged by the time I was 19 I would have called them crazy. But here we are, engaged for three months and getting married in June. I can't wait! We're going to have the wedding at Hogsmede, and everyone I've ever known, including the Dursleys, are invited.

Living with Luna is nice enough. She wants me to get a job soon though, and I've kind of been used to being unemployed. So there are downsides ... but I couldn't love her more. I guess all I have to do for the rest of my life is keep her happy (that's extremely compared to taking down Voldemort).

Ron and Hermione visit every few weeks, but rarely do they visit together. I thought they might get together by the way they were acting in our seventh year, but it seems like I was just imagining things then... Ginny's visited twice but only because Ron was going to take her somewhere else afterwards, and Fred and George came by. They reminded me that I practically owned their business, and they brought twenty thousand galleons with them to buy it back from me.

I asked them about what happened to the money I was supposed to get in the last three years, but they didn't pay me another shilling -- er -- knut. It's too bad ... ten more thousand and I would have been able to buy Malfoy Manor from Draco and rename it Potter Manor...

Speaking of Draco, I got an owl from him challenging me to a duel. There's a chance that it's a trap, and I really don't think I'm ready to do what I was able to do before Voldemort was defeated. Even though I've been practicing everyday, I'm still only as strong as I was at the end of my fifth year. I told Luna, and she told me she would go with me and bring three of the best aurors alive if I decided to go.

I don't think I will though, and I'm trying to think of how to say no to him as I write this. I just hope he doesn't do anything to force me into it.


	7. Entry7

The one thing I hate about life is when you think everything has simmered down for a while and you only have to worry about pleasing your fiancee by getting an un-needed job, your fiancee gets kidnapped and you have to beat up Draco Malfoy and burn down his manor because he's a sissy that gets angry when you put his father in Azkaban.

Anyway, that's not the worst of it. Not only did I have to rescue Luna from the clutches of Malfoy Manor, almost kill Draco, burn down his manor accidentaly, and put Malfoy in jail, but he made her BLOODY STERILE! If you can't be kissed by a dementor for that I'll make it so that people that make other people sterile WILL get a dementor's kiss. And heaven help anyone who tries to stop me. He BLOODY RAPED HER! How could he! His father takes part in illegal activities and he goes to Azkaban because DUMBLEDORE -- NOT ME, DUMBLEDORE (bless him) captured him and put him there, and Malfoy blames me for it? Let him burn Dumbledore's remains -- let him dishonour his ashes by using its container as a spitoon -- but why did he have to make my finacee, the love of my life, sterile -- she wanted five children -- she won't get any of her own. If I ever get the chance to kill him, I won't hesitate.


	8. Entry8

When I gave her the news, she completely broke down. She may never be the same person again. She won't get out of bed, and she won't say anything to me either. The only thing she will do is eat. Maybe through all the sadness of her life, the only thing that kept her going was the thought of having kids and loving them as she loved her parents.

Now that I'm more calm, I'm going to get a second opinion. I just don't undestand how someone can do that much damage by just raping them, and even though the first healer said she'd never have children, maybe the second will think differently. I just hope he does because I can't stand the thought of not having kids either, and it's almost as bad for me because it's all my fault. If I had just accepted his challenge and killed him then, he wouldn't have been able to cause all of this suffering. I was afraid of him, but I'm making a promise: from now on, I will never let fear decide for me again.

Ron and Hermione said they felt sorry for us in an owl, but what can that do? I'm going to owl Hermione to see if there's anything she knows about that can help Luna at all, but right now Luna needs me, and my only responsibility is to be kind to her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health -- I will never leave her like this.


	9. Entry9

It's a miracle!-- It's bittersweet, but it's still a miracle! The first healer was actually one of the last Death Eaters! I guess he wanted to split us up, but we're still engaged, and we're going to get married tomorrow -- she insists -- YES, INSISTS as in SAID something insists -- that we celebrate and have the wedding as soon as possible -- tomorrow.

Ron, Hermione and even Remus visited us to congratulate us and check how Luna was doing. To tell you the truth I haven't ever seen her happier -- not even when I told her I loved her all those months ago. And I'm pretty sure I won't see her this happy again, unless we do have one...

Even though I wasn't too keen on having one before, I guess I'll have to comply with the five monsters we're going to procreate... At least, I hope it's only five ... she could want more now that she knows she can have them. I almost wish I hadn't asked for a second opinion...

But even though I am kind of scared that they'll grow up into spoiled brats, I can't help thinking about them and wondering what it'll be like when I actually get to hold them for the first time...


	10. Entry10

Again, it's been months since I've written in this delapidated old journal, but I daresay a honeymoon will take something as unimportant as this off your mind for quite a while. I'm not going to go into dointed. Then again, I don't know for sure -- I'm not that good at it yet...

I wonder if we're going to get a girl or a boy first. Really I just hope we get whichever one that's easier to take care of...


	11. Entry11

Reading this journal reminds me of how simple my life used to be. No job, no wife, no kid -- who, by the way, isn't quite as bad as this journal suggests she would have been. Thirteen months ... and my daughter, Lily Lovegood -- named after my mom -- a beautiful brunette, was born one month ago. We gave her Luna's last name because it'll attract less attention.

After all I've been through, I can't believe I'm really a dad. Nothing gives me more happiness than watching her sleep peacefully in her crib. And nothing gives me more amazement than thinking of what I had to do to get here. I'm really thankful I did, but Luna said Lily's going to be the first of many...

Don't get me wrong, I love Lily, but I don't like the idea of having multiple babies crying at the same time. One baby, even if she does wake us up in the middle of the night, will pale in comparison to what it will take to raise two -- or even three monstrous toddlers at the same time.

It hasn't been easy working at St. Mungo's -- yes, St. Mungo's. Don't ask me how, but I think since I put "Has been continually practcing spellwork for nine years" they thought I was at least a little bit more competant than I really am and put me at one of the easier wards as a junior healer -- the ward for bone injuries and such. I don't hate my job, but I don't get overjoyed while I'm there. The injuries are tediously common. Either the patient has a broken bone, a missing bone or too many bones -- there's not too much room for variety, but I can stand being able to hide my identity from most of the patients who don't have to stay over-night. The spellwork was hard at first, but the senior healer taught me how to correctly cast the spells rather quickly. And while the senior healer -- his name's Fredrick Freed, but we all call him Fred while we're not snickering behind his back -- even though he can do everything a lot faster than I can, I still feel that I'm actually doing something instead of just being an unemployed bum who doesn't contribute at all.

I guess, even though I saved -- well, helped save the Wizarding World from Voldemort, I can still contribute in other ways.


	12. Entry12

Nothing is quite as annoying as finally being rediscovered by the Daily Profit -- I mean Daily Prophet... Now patients are coming in with no injuries, I get guests at my door on the hour, and I have my picture in the newspaper with the headline "The Man Who Conquered Found Alive!" The article goes on to describe how I had not in fact married Hermione, (she's now the Minister's Cheif Assitant) but had married Luna, whom they go on to describe rather badly. They even say I'm still having an affair with Hermione!-- And don't worry, Luna knows I'm not that stupid.

After burning the newspaper with the old flame jinx, I wondered if I should cancel my subscription, but then I thought better of it: who knows what they might come up with next... I even came up with a great idea for an article in the Quibbler that would vindicate us. And if it were written by am "anonymous insider" people might actually listen... Luna already told me that she could still publish any article she wanted because her uncle's now the editor, and I'm going to start writing it right now.


	13. Entry13

It's nice to know something close to the truth is in print. My article was just what the Prophet needed. It was an article describing the Prophet's libelous history reguarding me, and it also went into d wants me to call her Luna because I always sound happy when I say it.

It's a cute suggestion, but I think I'll stick with Lily.


	14. Entry14

I'm so bad at writing journals... I don't put the date above my entries -- I let ink spill on it... It's sad, I haven't even put in a good description of my own daughter.

She has brown hair, light green eyes and far too many sharp teeth. She's adventurous and noisy, often asking us to go to a zoo or a park when one of us has free time on the weekends. Sometimes when both of us are around she asks why most of the grown-ups aren't carrying wands. I tell her it's because they're weird, and she giggles. She often skips ahead of us, and when we're at a zoo, she points to every animal as if it were the most exciting thing in the world.

When she gets tired, she hitches a ride on my shoulders or in Luna's arms, and she knows the zoo well enough to keep to Luna for some reason when we pass by the chimpanzees. I hope I find out what they whisper about once she gets a little older.

Luna's expecting again...


	15. Final Entry and the Second Journal

You guessed it, I forgot to write in this very old journal again -- how come I haven't written in twenty-two years? Because I lost it. I lost the journal...

When Luna said she wanted five children, she actually meant we were going to have six... Why? Because of Draco. I really have to thank him someday because if it were not for him, we would have never had a boy (he's five now). I was kind of afraid that he'd grow up to be less-than-tough so I gave him my name so he could be feared before anyone could really know him. I gave him a wand early, and I help him practice his spells every morning before he goes out to play with his sisters.

Hermione was the Minster for Magic for about twelve years, and she started sweeping reforms that limited our ministry's interference, especially in education, and actually was able to slightly improve the living standard of House Elves during her term.

Ron is still the only candidate for Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and he's gotten so good at it that no one wants to replace him. One bad thing is Snape's the Headmaster. He's not bad at his job, despite being a git, but he's very bias. I'm glad I gave the girls Luna's last name because it bought them some time before he noticed they were mine.

Then again, once he did, he made up for lost time...

Anyway, let's see if I can remember their houses ... Lily became a Ravenclaw, Amy became a Gryffindor, Chris is a Gryffindor, and I think Vicky's a Ravenclaw, but Lizzy, the blacksheep of the family, is a Hufflepuff. She wanted to be a Hufflepuff, too, and she was the only one not to call me monkey-head (having messy black hair is a curse) when we took the kids to the zoo. Sam and Harry are too young to go to Hogwarts yet, but when they do, they'll be in good hands. Our kids seem to pull together when they're at Hogwarts, especially when Snape makes one of his dreaded detention runs. Even Lizzy helps out when she can.

Lily and Amy are too busy with their careers to settle down. Lily took the potions position at Hogwarts, moving it from the dungeons to one of the auxiliary classrooms on the fourth floor, but Amy, well, she's a journalist for the Quibbler. She's doing wonders for it, and it's been growing in prestige. It's almost main-stream now.

We think Chris is going to be another auror. She's always hated not having grandparents, and she has the grades for it. The rest haven't decided at all. Vicky has no idea what she's going to be, and she hopes her owl year will help her decide.

Well ... tomorrow is my fortieth birthday. That'll be about one-third of my life. I'd say I've had a full one already, but I think I still want to keep going for a long time. After all, I couldn't have wished for a better one --

"What's that you're writing?"

"It's my journal, Luna ... I just found it in Amy's old room."

"You never told me you had a journal."

"You can read it if you want -- it's pethetically short."

"Well, if it's short it's sure to have a lot of empty pages."

"Yeah ... do you want it?"

"Not really ... I had my _own_ journal, you know."

"When?"

"At Hogwarts ... remember the day that you left? The one where I told about my dad and my mom and how much I missed them?"

"I will never forget it..."

"Well, that day I made a descision, and I wrote an entry in my journal right on the shore where you found me ... a final entry... And I decided that if you wouldn't come looking for me -- if you hadn't found me, I would have drowned myself in the lake."

"Wow ... I really had no idea..."

"I've always loved you, Harry, and that day I thought, if you don't love me enough to come looking for me, then I'll never be happy."

"I'm glad I did."

Luna smiled. "Me too. The journal I had was filled with all the saddness I had from my parents and from other people who thought I was weird and crazy. The minute you found me I decided that that part of my life was over, and once I told you about all my sad memories and you left to fight Voldemort, I threw my journal into the lake."

"You deserve to be happy."

"I am ..."

As she left, Harry could hardly believe he'd done so much for one person. They were made for each other, and that moment he knew it. And as happy as Harry was when he defeated Voldemort, when he married Luna, or when he saw Lily for the first time, nothing made him happier than knowing that moment that he had really fulfilled his purpose -- making the person he loved more than anything else in the world happy.

END


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